


Testing the Waters

by chazzaroo



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Past Abuse, dodoria and zarbon appear for like five seconds, whis and beerus are official universe 7 matchmakers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-06 09:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18848212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chazzaroo/pseuds/chazzaroo
Summary: vegeta has a nightmare about his past, and goku decides it's a great time to be really, really gay





	1. Hidden Currents

**Author's Note:**

> apologies if the pacing is wack, i have a big problem with my writing going too fast. lmk if u see any grammar issues too!

    The door to Frieza’s throne room slid open very slowly, almost unwillingly, as if it knew what sat behind it was similar to a cougar waiting to pounce. As if it wanted to protect the young child standing just outside of it, but was unable to ignore what it was programmed and built to do. _Just like me,_ the kid couldn’t help but think as his eyes settled on the warlord currently awaiting his presence. A glass full of a red liquid sat cupped in the small but powerful hand of his leader. If he hadn’t once tasted the stuff for himself, it could be mistaken as blood.

    “Prince Vegeta,” his high voice sounded lower today, and that either meant calm, or seething rage. “I’ve been expecting you, but I’m sure you knew that, seeing as you’re here.” His signature lackeys framed his throne, the large green man on his right flipping his braid behind himself with a smirk. His pink colored friend kept his arms crossed, but looked side-eyed at his leader in anticipation. A black nail tapped impatiently against the white material framing his seat, tail lazily draped over the back of it. The Prince, now the center of attention, swallowed silently.

    “I came as soon as I could, Lord Frieza.” He stiffly bowed down on one knee, his tail-tip lashing behind him where none of them could see it. One arm was bent, placed on his thigh, the other hand resting in a fist on the spotless white floor. Even his white glove was no match to its flawless color. With the amount of formality in his movements, one would be shocked to learn he was only ten years old, if his height and face didn’t give him away immediately. Frieza swirled the liquid in his cup, watching droplets just barely miss flying out of the glass.

    “Nappa spoke very highly of you in his report.” He took a sip out of his glass, then set it down. Sitting up straighter, he leaned forward and slid out of his seat, loud footsteps echoing in the spacious room. Dodoria and Zarbon didn’t even flinch, standing as still and as straight as stone statues. From where his head was lowered, Vegeta could only see their feet. It felt degrading. Sweat trickled down the side of his face, but somehow didn’t drip onto the floor. Frieza stopped in front of him, long tail now resting on the floor. Vegeta’s own stilled nervously, the fur of it bristling. “Dodoria, however, had very _different_ things to say…”

 _Dodoria lied, the spiteful bastard._ “I apologize deeply for any false information reported, my Lord.” Vegeta kept his voice steady despite the fear clawing up his insides. Frieza only laughed, bending down into a squat, placing a single finger under Vegeta’s chin and forcing his face up. Vegeta had no choice but to meet his eyes, lest he be called disrespectful for avoiding them.

    “If only it were that simple, _my little monkey._ ” Frieza cooed mockingly, and Vegeta didn’t anticipate the hard punch to his gut that followed. He lurched over, coughing, but had enough coherency left to catch the blood that poured out into his own hand. He would only receive another blow if he let his blood stain the pristine floor. Vegeta heard Zarbon stifle a chuckle of his own, while Dodoria was surely wearing the most shit-eating grin of his life. He wiped his mouth with the back of his glove, and Frieza stood back up straight, arms behind his back now.

    “Perhaps he thinks of himself as above you, my Lord.” Zarbon chimed in with a smirk, and Frieza nodded thoughtfully. Vegeta kept his head low, droplets of red still occasionally falling into his cupped hand. His tail was curled at his side, and Frieza’s eyes locked on it. Reaching out with a hand, he grabbed it, lifting Vegeta off of the ground. As always, the saiyan went limp in Frieza’s cruel grasp.

    “If this revolting appendage wasn’t so useful for getting the job done quickly, I’d _rip_ it right off of your disgraceful body. I’ll have to settle for something else today…” He mused, rubbing his chin. Dodoria piped up this time, a deep satisfaction in his tone. Vegeta would mentally curse him, but with his tail being squeezed the way it was, he felt like his head was full of cotton.

    “How about getting rid of that dumb cape? He’s not _really_ a prince anymore, not when he’s under your rule, Lord Frieza.” Dodoria chuckled, arms still crossed over his chest. “Some humiliation might do him good, fracture that little ego of his.”

    “ _Ooh_ , emotional pain. I do enjoy your savageness, Dodoria.” Without hesitation, Frieza took the suggestion, ripping the red fabric harshly off of Vegeta’s back. Tatters of it still remained clipped to his chest plate, but most of it was gone, and it definitely wasn’t a cape anymore. The cloth was dropped carelessly to the floor, along with the thoroughly humiliated Prince. He brought himself to his knees with one hand, the other still covered with his own blood. “You are nothing, Vegeta. Prince of the saiyans?” Frieza scoffed, placing a foot on Vegeta’s small back, pressing him back down hard onto the floor. “The saiyans are _dead._ You are just another soldier among my thousands of others, do not forget that.” He kicked Vegeta, sending him skidding out of the room like he was indeed nothing. He got one last look at his cape, the one his father had given him long ago, as the door shut silently.

 

* * *

 

    His cheeks were warm and wet when he woke, and Vegeta sat up in a flash, hand going to his abdomen. He expected pain to blossom there at his touch, but he felt nothing, the punch from Frieza but an echo in his mind now. Right. He certainly wasn’t a kid anymore, he must have just been dreaming. How annoying that the asshole still haunted him in a way, not like he could really control his dreams, though. The Prince _did_ still feel eyes on him, boring their way through his flesh and into his soul like a ki-blast, and he turned to look to his side. Kakarot sat upright there, in his own bed, gazing at Vegeta in obvious concern. Damn Whis for putting them in the same room.

    “You okay?” He asked, testing the waters between them. Kakarot had no idea what lay below, currents churning so violently that if he were to step in fully, he would surely be washed away and drown.

    “Mind your own business.” Vegeta hissed scathingly, hand still clutched on his torso as he laid back down on his side, facing away from the other man. He could taste blood faintly in his mouth, and that was either the memory of the dream still ringing clear, or he had been grinding his teeth together in his sleep. Kakarot wasn’t satisfied with that answer, and Vegeta listened as the other bed scraped across the floor. Why the hell was he moving his _bed_ closer? He could have just gotten up and walked over if he wanted to bug Vegeta for answers that badly. “What did I _just_ _say_?”

    “I _am_ minding my own business.” Kakarot said matter-of-factly, bed now almost flush against Vegeta’s. It looked rather stupid, as Vegeta’s bed was already up against one wall of the room from when he had kicked it there on their first night sleeping together. Kakarot climbed back onto his mattress, making the springs creak as he bounced slightly. Vegeta didn’t move or say anything more, willing the idiot to get bored and go away. He didn’t. “You wanna talk about your dream? You looked real upset in your sleep, so I’m assuming it was a dream.” He sat indian style, hands in the gap between his legs.

    “No. Go away.” Vegeta grumbled into his pillow, pulling his blanket over his head to obscure it. He probably looked ridiculous, like a caterpillar tightly wrapped in its cocoon, but he had nowhere else to run except into the darkness the covering provided him with. Kakarot huffed in mild annoyance lifting one arm up to try and tug the blanket off- but Vegeta was holding on. Tight.

    “Aw, come on Vegeta, I don’t wanna rip your blanket up.” He tugged insistently, and Vegeta was reminded of his still-fresh dream. The cape. He let his grip loosen, and Kakarot finally freed Vegeta’s head from underneath, the sudden blast of cool air giving him chicken skin. “See? This isn’t so bad.” He smiled stupidly as he loomed over Vegeta, hair hanging in his face slightly as he tried to meet Vegeta’s eyes. Vegeta said nothing, stiff as a board, and Kakarot looked at him curiously, as if his eyes caught something Vegeta’s had not.

    “ _What._ ” Vegeta bit out, about to turn over and send Kakarot’s bed flying into the opposite wall in just a few seconds. A hand reached out towards his face, but he didn’t think to stop it, breath catching in his throat where it was joined by his heart as well. Gently, the large hand brushed his bangs out of his eyes… wait, _bangs?!_

    “I didn’t know ya had bangs, Vegeta.” Kakarot’s dumb face still towered over him as he shot out a foot, kicking the larger man in the chest. Kakarot let out an _oomph_ as he went flying instead of the bed, as Vegeta had previously been plotting. He heard Kakarot distantly whine in pain, but it was like background noise against the static in his head. Frantically, Vegeta sat up, trying to smooth the offending pieces of spiky hair back into the rest of his mop. They disobeyed his wants, though, as they continuously only fell back down over his forehead. He grabbed them between his fist, fully prepared to just rip them off than face the incoming humiliation, but that same large hand stilled his own before he could start yanking.

    “Vegeta! Don’t do that.” Kakarot fretted, painstakingly prying Vegeta’s tense fingers open to free the locks of hair contained in them. It felt disgustingly too intimate, to have Kakarot touching the bare skin of his hands, but he wasn’t some freak that slept with his gloves on. Seeing Vegeta’s hands up-close, however, only made Kakarot’s worried frown deepen. “What’s this?” He rubbed his thumb over a light scar on the back of Vegeta’s right hand. It was much too intricate to actually be a scar, looking more like his skin had been branded many years ago. It sounded like Kakarot already knew, but wanted Vegeta to confirm what he was thinking. Vegeta let his head hang down, utterly defeated. His bangs hung down over his face, much like Kakarot’s.

    “Frieza.” Vegeta said simply. He knew he didn’t need to elaborate. Kakarot nodded solemnly, still holding Vegeta’s branded hand, turning it every which way and _rubbing_ it. He wouldn’t stop rubbing it, like he thought it was dirt that could be wiped away if he tried hard enough. Vegeta had once considered tearing the skin off and freeing himself of the mark, but the resulting large, ugly scar would be just as much of a reminder. “Low-ranking PTO soldiers got branded.” He decided to continue. “It was just a sign of ownership. A reminder. Frieza didn’t care about identifying bodies.” Vegeta laughed darkly, running his free hand through his hair. Kakarot’s worried eyes were still tearing through his skin, and he remained tense under the attention.

    “Is… that why you wear gloves all the time?” His hand-holding was becoming uncomfortable now.

    “A fair assumption, but no. I couldn’t care less who sees it.” Vegeta moved his hand away, and Kakarot finally let it go, albeit very reluctantly. Vegeta tried in vain to push his bangs back once more, but it didn’t work. Hopefully the bathroom here had some kind of gel in it, so he wouldn’t report to Whis like this in the morning. “Damn it all.” He cursed his hair, swiping the rebellious strands to the side instead. If he were to look in the mirror, he would no doubt see the same child that he had become in his dream.

    “Didn’t you say saiyan hair never changes? Have you always had those?” Kakarot scooted closer, and Vegeta figured he might as well humor the giant child. The warmth radiating from his body like a furnace was a stark contrast to Vegeta, who always seemed cooler. Not freezing cold, but not as warm as a body _should_ feel.

    “I had them as a child. As I got older, I started to push them back.” Vegeta crossed his arms and adjusted his sitting position, blowing his bangs back to the side as they fell into his eyes again. “Bulma has seen them many times, I’m surprised she kept it from you.”

    “She probably didn’t think it was weird. Lots of guys have bangs, _I_ have bangs.” Kakarot gestured to his own messy hair, and Vegeta rolled his eyes. Of course guys could have bangs, when had Vegeta said that they couldn’t? Vegeta communicated this through a hard glare. Kakarot just shifted uneasily, rocking back and forth, filling the room with the annoying creak of mattress springs.

    “Spit it out, Kakarot.”

    “You…” The man swallowed uneasily, currently looking at anything in the area that wasn’t Vegeta. Vegeta raised a tightly clenched fist threateningly, and Kakarot threw up his hands in a feeble guarding position. “You, um, look really cute with bangs!” He squeaked out, then bowed his head, bringing his hands together in a praying position. “ _Please_ don’t hit me! That kick to my stomach already hurt really bad!” Vegeta blinked at him incredulously.

    “... _Cute?_ ” There was no venom in his voice, only genuine curiosity. Confusion. Kakarot nodded quickly, hands still together in front of himself.

    “ _Super_ cute! Like, if you looked like that when you came to earth, I-” Kakarot was cut off with a breathless grunt as he was punched in the chest, knocking the wind straight out of him. His hands parted, going to clutch at the chest of his nightshirt, gasping loudly. “ _Vegeta!_ ” He wheezed, tears at the edges of his eyes.

    “Don’t…” Vegeta paused. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know why he had struck Kakarot so fiercely. A regular punch would have been enough to get his point across. “I’m not cute.” He huffed, turning away. Subconsciously rubbing at his cheek, he found it to be hot to the touch. Surely he wasn't blushing, right? From being called _cute_? By _Kakarot_?

    “But you _are!_ You’re the most handsome guy I know, Vegeta!” Kakarot protested, grabbing Vegeta’s arm and shaking it so that they both bounced around on the soft beds. Vegeta covered his eyes with a hand, massaging his temples and sighing. He did decide to peek at the man still holding his arm, fingers parting so he could look through them. Kakarot’s mouth was a thin line, and he looked very serious for such a completely inane conversation topic. “Even more handsome than Yamcha.” He said deadpan, moving in closer.

    “You can stop talking now, Kakarot.” Vegeta grumbled, not even trying to sound angry anymore. Kakarot, thank god, had enough sense to listen and lean back into his own personal bubble, releasing Vegeta’s captive arm. With a grunt, Vegeta turned away and plopped back down, slinging his blanket back over himself and ignoring the hair still in his face. It provided a strange, but not really unwelcome, warmth against his forehead. “Go back to sleep.” He pushed his face into his nice, cold pillow. He didn’t hear Kakarot follow his lead.

 

* * *

 

    _Plop._ Vegeta was just getting into the rhythm of sleep twenty minutes later when something- no, _someone-_ was flush up next to him, a solid chest pressing against his back. His mouth opened in protest instantly, but then an arm slowly snaked over his torso, pulling him in close, and only a small yelp escaped him. Kakarot must think he was already sleeping… his ki must have relaxed enough to fool the other saiyan. Vegeta’s mouth closed. The energy of the man now basically holding him was definitely nervous, spiking then lowering, like a frantic heartbeat. His own heart hammered in his chest, how could Kakarot not hear it?

    “Don’ worry… I won’t let you have another bad dream. I’ll be here all night.” Kakarot mumbled behind him, talking to himself, and Vegeta felt another hand run through his hair tenderly. It felt… kind of nice. Sure, Bulma used to touch him softly in bed, too, but this was extremely different. Hands that could go one-on-one with Gods were lovingly embracing him, muscles crafted over decades of battles and training relaxing as they encircled his smaller frame. Hands that were not made to be delicate were _being_ delicate, just for him. Vegeta’s heart raced and he found himself encountering a familiar ache he had not felt in a long, long time. He was totally fucking smitten by this oaf of a man, and hadn’t even realized it. How long had he been ignoring this feeling?

    Kakarot’s face was placed against the back of Vegeta’s head, and he was breathing softly. Vegeta felt the air from Kakarot’s nose rustling his hair and tickling against his scalp. He wasn’t asleep, but also wasn’t quite awake. Perhaps Vegeta was not the only smitten one here… Kakarot held him much like Vegeta once observed Trunks holding his favorite stuffed toy as a baby. Tight and close, a pure and obvious expression of affection.

    “Fuck.” Vegeta whispered the obscenity into the silent room, face as red as blood. He definitely, definitely, wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. He still let Kakarot hold him close, though.


	2. Rising Tide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beerus has a little chat with vegeta about the saiyan's feelings

    Moonlight shone down upon the planet, turning the blue-green grass almost silver. It was not often nighttime on Beerus’ world, the day and night cycle being drastically different to that of Earth. Though, with the brightness of the multiple moons in the sky shining down, it may as well have just been daytime. Instead of sleeping, Vegeta sat alone in his battlesuit and armor, on top of a large purple tree stump, one knee bent up to his chest and the other resting regularly on the old wood. Arms crossed, he stared defiantly at the moons, bathing in the blutz waves they were hurling at him. With no tail, the moons posed no real threat. It was just his own type of training, willing himself to be unaffected by the blutz waves in other ways, such as emotionally. Moonlit nights often made him furious. Beerus and Whis wouldn’t appreciate him moping and stomping around just because of some hunks of rock floating in the sky.

    Absently, he thought of Kakarot. Wonder what that man was doing now. Ever since Vegeta’s dream three days ago, neither of them had dared to speak of it, and it was driving Vegeta mad! Despite not discussing it, each night, he would feel those warm arms around him once Kakarot believed him to be sleeping. He would pull Vegeta close, and ruffle his hair, freeing those _god damned_ bangs again. Vegeta grit his teeth, not good, this was a bad line of thinking when attempting to control his fury. His own sharp canines dug into his lip, making it bleed, and the small stinging was a welcome distraction from his brain that seemed to now hyperfocus on Kakarot. His heart was beating too fast, and suddenly the blutz waves were too overwhelming, turning his blood and plasma into hot fire. He was burning from the inside out.

    “Vegeta.” The Prince whipped his head to the side, eyes that were previously wild and glazed clearing up a bit. He squinted into the night, looking for whoever had called his name. Was it Kakarot? The voice had been too far away for him to tell, but it sounded much too deep to be that fools. Vegeta didn’t sense his ki approaching, either… he focused and looked for it on the small planet, finding it easily as if it were second nature. Yes, it wasn’t him, he was in their joint room. No one was approaching from the direction he’d turned to, maybe he had misjudged which way to look, or it had been warped by the wind. Or-

    “AH! Holy shit!” Vegeta yelled in genuine shock as he finally turned around to look behind himself. There stood Lord Beerus, hands clasped behind his back and grinning smugly as Vegeta toppled off of the stump. The cat-like God laughed loudly, then jumped gracefully onto the stump himself, taking the nice comfortable seat that Vegeta had warmed up for him. His large tail swished back and forth in obvious interest, and he placed both hands on his knees, leaning forward towards the saiyan still picking himself up off of the ground.

    “Awfully late to be awake, isn’t it?” Beerus questioned, nose twitching as Vegeta dusted himself off right in front of the God’s face.

    “I could say the same to you, Lord Beerus.” Vegeta conveniently avoided pointing out that Beerus slept far more often, and obviously much longer, than Vegeta ever did. If either of them was weird for being awake at night, it was Beerus. Beerus sat back up with a shrug, stretching so hard it turned into an open-mouthed yawn. Razor sharp teeth flashed in the moonlight. If Beerus ever decided to bite during battle, it would almost surely be agony for the man on the receiving end. That man wouldn’t be Vegeta. “Do you need me for something?”

    “Somewhat. Sit down, pretty boy.” Beerus’ purple tail thumped the ground next to the stump, kicking up a few blades of grass and a small cloud of dust. Vegeta allowed himself a momentary grimace at Beerus’ pleased expression from watching the ego-fueled saiyan willingly lower himself back into the dirt, almost literally at the God’s feet. Vegeta crossed his legs out of habit, while Beerus sat indian-style, much like Kakarrot did constantly. Vegeta shook his head at the name popping up in his mind, willing it to go away at least until Beerus decided he was done using Vegeta as his plaything. “Tell me what’s on your mind.” The cat looked at him, golden eyes narrowed as he leaned his boney face on his equally boney hand. It was like he had sensed Vegeta’s agitation. Vegeta blinked, shoulders raising in surprise.

    “...Pardon?” He almost choked out, not believing he had heard the God correctly. Beerus growled in annoyance, muscles tensing in extreme effort to not do anything impulsive.

    “You heard me. You’ve been horribly distracted for days now and Whis won’t stop _whining_ about it,” Beerus paused to pick something out of his teeth, flinging it across the clearing and into the unknown. “So I came to talk to you myself. Spit it out.” His face was twisted in a distasteful expression, like he found a food he didn’t particularly like. Feelings and mushy stuff was not his specialty, and he was loathing this just as much as the saiyan beside him was.

    “There is no particular reason for my distractedness, Lord Beerus.” Vegeta’s brows were furrowed, more so than usual. Beerus took note of this, as well as the saiyan’s suddenly much stiffer posture. Sweat started to form on his skin, despite the cool night air around them. “I’ll try harder when training resumes tomorrow.”

    “Like hell you will! You’re not getting up until you tell me what’s going on!” The God snapped, voice echoing all around them as he moved close enough to be almost nose-to-nose with Vegeta. If Vegeta was a lesser man, the cold, icey glare Beerus was shooting directly at him might have made him run away in fear for his life. Vegeta had faced far colder fury in the eyes of Frieza in his many years of living around him. Vegeta’s gloves creaked as his hands clenched into tight fists, digging into the fabric of his gray battlesuit. Beerus’ eyes, wise from millenniums of living even if he hardly acted that way, bore deep into Vegeta’s skin. Beerus was seeing something on his face, reading him like a book. It felt… weirdly violating.

    “It’s Goku, isn’t it?” Beerus asked, managing to sound both interested yet uninterested at the same time, and Vegeta swallowed audibly. Nothing got past the God of Destruction, and he remained uncomfortably close as his prying continued. “What did that idiot do this time? Do I need to have a _talk_ with him, too?” Vegeta quickly shook his head, motioning wildly with his hands.

    “No, no, no, that’s not necessary.”

    “Apparently it is, if whatever he’s doing is shifting your focus on training so severely.” Beerus was really exerting his pressure now, and it was taking all Vegeta had to not break beneath it. He was cracking, though, and Beerus was sticking his claws through those cracks, slowly prying Vegeta apart. “Really not going to talk?” Beerus growled after a minute of waiting, then pulled back, preparing to jump off of the tree stump he was still resting on. He was not a patient God. “I guess I’ll just go erase the fool, then. Clear our problem right up. I prefer your attitude over his anyways.”

    “No!” Vegeta panicked, answering the God immediately… and disrespectfully. Dangerous eyes focused back on him, his pupils just thin black slits in a sea of gold now. Beerus grinned darkly, his tail swishing back and forth through the air.   
 

   “Would you prefer I erase you, then? We have no use for a warrior who cannot train properly, Vegeta.” He hummed, but his mocking tone didn’t lighten the threat encased within his words. Vegeta shook his head, grateful Beerus hadn’t decided to comment on the rude way he had protested. Beerus laughed, leaning back down to speak in a calm whisper. “Then you better tell me everything. If you dare leave anything out, you will be space dust filtering between my fingers.”

    “I-” Vegeta paused, voice catching. Could he do this? _Would_ he do this? His hesitation disappeared as the cat raised a hand, open-palmed and ready to perform his hakai technique should Vegeta continue to clam up. He would do this, Vegeta decided. It would be a stupid way to die if he didn’t. “I… don’t hate Kakarot anymore.” He had to force the words to leave his body, and he felt like he could barely breathe at the embarrassing admission ringing in his ears. He felt like his head would explode. Maybe Beerus had gotten tired of waiting and Vegeta was in the process of disappearing, and that’s why he suddenly couldn’t breathe. That would be nice. However, the God of Destruction was not so merciful.

    “There, Vegeta. Was that so hard?” Beerus grinned as he moved away, his hand relaxing and freeing Vegeta from the looming threat of the hakai. “That’s all you had to say. We knew full well what has been going on, I just wanted to hear it from you personally!” He laughed loudly, slapping a knee as he hopped off of his seat. Vegeta looked up at him like a fish gasping for water, still sitting in the grass. “Boy, _what_ a treat! I honestly doubted Whis for a moment there.”

    “You both knew,” the saiyan rubbed at his temples, feeling like just throwing himself off the side of this planet and into the endless void of space. “And you’re both sadists.” He sighed.

    “You should know that about me by now.” He kept grinning, grabbing Vegeta by his waist with his long tail as he walked by, forcefully standing him up. He strolled away at a leisurely pace, smirk permanently plastered on his face as Vegeta gaped at his retreating form. “You better have a chat with Goku soon. It’s Whis’ turn next.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight cliffhanger, but i trust myself to at least finish and post the next chapter, so don't worry  
> this chapter is pretty boring and i'm sorry about that! plot buildup is annoying. the next chapter is gonna feature goku and whis in a similar situation
> 
> apologies if the pacing is wack, i have a big problem with my writing going too fast. lmk if u see any grammar issues too!


	3. Braving the Waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's whis' turn to talk with goku! how is he ever gonna face vegeta again after this?

    The sun shone down hot and hard on the small planet, setting the skin of anyone who dared to step outside aflame instantly. The night had finally passed , making way for the long day. Sweat poured off of one of two men participating in a spar in an open grassy field, the other seemingly unaffected by the weather, as well as the blows aimed at him. His small but sturdy blue hands effortlessly caught punches and kicks, and his forearms prevented any headbutts from actually landing. The calm, almost bored face of Whis just spurred on the other man further, his gaze intense and… not completely focused. Whis noticed this.

    “Goku, stop.” Whis finally sighed after five more minutes of useless blows that were either too slow or too clumsy to land correctly. Goku stopped, unbothered by Whis’ blatant disappointment, wiping the back of his arm across his forehead. “You aren’t giving this your all. In fact, you haven’t been for the last three days.” He poked Goku in the chest lightly with the head of his staff, but it didn’t even budge his large body. Goku grinned, moving a hand to scratch at the back of his extremely sweaty head.

    “Sorry ‘bout that, Whis. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately.” He laughed, trying to unstick his gi shirt from his torso to no avail. He really needed a shower and a change. “If we’re done for today, you mind if I go get cleaned up?” Whis frowned at him, then tapped his staff on the ground. Instantaneously, Goku was completely clean, and sporting a fresh gi. He looked down at it happily, as that felt a _lot_ better.

    “Normally I would say yes, but we need to talk.” Whis moved to sit down, and Goku’s mouth opened uselessly as he witnessed the angel sit down on absolutely _nothing._ “Tell me what’s on your mind, Goku. I’m here to help you, and that goes beyond just making you stronger.” He crossed one hand over the other in his lap, staff floating by his side. Goku’s smile faltered as he took Whis’ cue to relax. He plopped down onto the grass, sitting indian style.

    “Uh… is this necessary?” He laughed nervously.

    “Yes.”

    “Well,” Goku started, looking up at the bright sky as he thought about it for a second. “it’s kinda about Vegeta.” He was lucky his face was already flushed red from exertion and the heat, otherwise Whis would surely notice that he was developing the beginnings of a blush. Whis raised an eyebrow curiously, silently urging Goku to continue speaking. “He had a nightmare a couple days ago, ‘n I… _comforted_ him?” It sounded like he himself wasn’t even sure what went down.

    “A bold move, Goku.” Whis commended him. That lifted Goku’s spirits a little, and he chuckled, but Whis was not done. “Are you worried about him, then?”

    “Maybe? I dunno.” Goku sighed, rocking back and forth just so he had something to do. He was still amped up from the spar, so he needed to expel his extra energy if he was going to have any hope of sleeping after this. “I get nervous when he’s not around, yeah, but I also get nervous when he _is_ around. I don’t get it, it’s not like I’m scared of him!” He complained loudly, and Whis was beginning to realize he had severely underestimated just how hopeless these two grown men are.

    “Of course you’re not scared of him. Though, I’d like to ask something.” Whis placed a hand around his staff. It lit up, projecting a small circular image in front of them. It was Vegeta, asleep in the room he shared with Goku. Their beds were still crammed up against each other. “Do you feel relieved now knowing he’s sleeping soundly, or does your anxiety persist?” The angel watched the man ponder the question, searching for a way to explain how he was feeling.

    “It’s… I guess it might _not_ be nervousness.”

    “Giddiness, then?” Whis suggested.

    “That’s like, nervous-excited, right? Yeah, that works.”

    “I’m glad we’ve sorted out that part of this, but we aren’t done yet.” The image of Vegeta disappeared, and Goku found himself missing it, wishing this conversation would end so he could go to their shared room and see him in person. Whis found the pouting very charming, especially since Goku didn’t notice he was doing it. “Goku, have you ever experienced love?”

    Goku sputtered, looking at Whis like he had grown two more heads. “Wh- of course I have! I was married, Whis, an’ I have _kids!”_ The heat did nothing to hide his violent blush now.

    “You would be surprised. Being married and having children does not equal love.” Whis leaned his head on one hand, smiling as Goku tried to figure out what the heck was going on here. This conversation had become a pretty loaded one, and Goku had never talked to anyone like this. Except maybe Krillin and Master Roshi. “How did you feel, towards your wife?”

    “The same way I feel about all my friends! I wanted to keep her safe.” He was fidgeting now, this line of questioning causing him immense discomfort. Whis was making him question his whole life, _and_ his definition of what romantic love should feel like. “That’s what love is, yeah?” Whis only giggled at his naivety, shaking his head.

    “Platonic love, perhaps.”

    “No way!”

    “Unfortunately, yes, your definition of love is a little off.” He patted Goku on the shoulder. “I don’t doubt that you cared deeply about your wife and her safety, but did you ever find yourself missing her when you were separated, as you do now with Vegeta?” He pointed out, his hand still resting on Goku, offering a grounding sensation in the wave of new information. Goku shook his head sadly, realizing all this time why his marriage with Chi-Chi had felt so unusual. She loved him, but had he _really_ loved her back? Or had he done it just to make her happy?

    “So… what exactly are you sayin’ here, Whis?” Goku looked up at him, lost and confused. Whis moved his hand away.

    “To put it simply, I believe you are in love with Vegeta.” Goku moved to speak, but Whis held up a hand to silence him before he even began. “You can’t focus when he is absent because you miss him, and you can’t focus when he is present because all you want to do is stare at him.” The angel slowly moved his hand away, setting it back in his lap and allowing Goku to speak.

    “I… wow.” He sighed, rubbing his face with both his hands. The warrior really didn’t know what to say to that, he had no _real_ experience with love until now, but surely Whis knew a lot of things. He couldn’t be wrong, and had no reason to lie to Goku. “What do I do, Whis? I guess I’m newer to love than I thought I was.” Love was never his thing, he never understood how it worked or how to deal with it. He was only good at fighting! He looked up at his teacher, painfully distraught.

    “Just have a conversation with him, Goku. He can’t hate you more than he already claims to, yes?” With that final statement, Whis gracefully stood up from his invisible seat, grabbing his staff. Goku stood up too, slowly, his energy suddenly all gone with the weight of this new predicament resting on his shoulders. Whis pitied him a little, and looked back at him with a smile. “Come. Let us go join Lord Beerus for dinner, he should be very hungry by now.”

    “Alright…”

 

* * *

 

    Goku hardly ate anything at the meal, but neither God looked particularly surprised by it. Beerus was probably somewhat in on Whis’ plan to talk with him, as he only shot Goku a few curious glances. Those two were really close and could be dangerous when on the same page, kinda like himself and Vegeta. His stomach being empty and unsatisfied did nothing to help lift his sour mood, but he was certain that if he gorged himself as usual, he would throw it all back up. He felt so nauseous, like when you turn to dive down while flying too fast. That feeling only grew as he approached his shared room, knowing Vegeta was likely inside, maybe even awake by now. Whis had sent him off to bed when he showed up at training looking like he’d just crawled straight out of hell.

    Goku braced himself and opened the door that magically appeared as he got close to the bare wall, stepping in and shutting it behind him quietly. It disappeared once more when he walked away from it, this place was weird like that. “Hey,” he muttered a greeting into the dark room, getting no response, so Vegeta must still be asleep. It was worth a try, right? Because their beds were still so close, Goku was careful as he moved past Vegeta’s to sit on the opposite edge of his own, the bed rocking only slightly when he sat down and started to remove his boots.

    “Kakarot…”

    Goku froze. He had one boot off and on the floor, but the other was still in his hand. He set it down extremely slowly, then turned around to look where Vegeta lay. He was just a lump beneath his blanket, the only part of him visible to Goku being some of his black hair. “Y- Yeah, Vegeta?” He replied, now removing his arm bands. Vegeta said nothing… maybe Goku was just hearing things? That must be it. He tossed the bands onto the desk in the middle of the room, neatly moving his boots to be lined up against the side of his bed. Goku was messy by nature, but he liked having his shoes nice and neat, thanks to his Grandpa’s old habits.

    He laid down on the bed, but wasn’t actually tired. That wasn’t a problem, he would just meditate-

    “Kakarot.”

    Goku’s head shot up and to the side, expecting to see Vegeta looking at him, but he wasn’t. Was… was Vegeta _dreaming_ about him? His voice didn’t sound angry, so it couldn’t be a dream about beating him to death like one would expect. Turning so he was laying facing Vegeta, he scooted across the bed, approaching the Prince. Goku felt unsure about holding Vegeta while sleeping now, as before he thought of it as only a friendly gesture, but after his conversation with Whis… he was doubting his own intentions. His hands itched to pull him in close, but what if Vegeta was only _pretending_ to sleep? His ki said sleeping, but his talking said otherwise.

    Goku reached out a tentative arm, wrapping it around the other man. Moving in close, he pressed his back to Vegeta’s, like he usually did now. “You awake?” He whispered, shaking him a little bit. Vegeta grunted, then rolled over to face Goku. Goku started to panic, Vegeta never faced him while he was doing this, he didn’t even know if Vegeta knew he was _being_ cuddled! He realized now that’s what he was doing with a small skip of his heart.

    “I have been since I said your name, idiot.” Vegeta’s eyes were open, but lidded, clouded over from sleep. How had Goku not noticed the change in his ki?

    “The first time or the second time?”

    “I said it twice?” Vegeta’s eyes blinked slowly. Looks like Vegeta hadn’t been awake for as long as Goku thought he’d been. He was still groggy enough for his ki to remain low.

    “Uh, yeah, but don’t worry about that. What’s up? Were you dreaming again?” Goku figured it was too late to move away from Vegeta, as he probably noticed their position by now. He wasn’t reacting to it, which had Goku really confused, but drawing attention to it would only make him even _more_ embarrassed. Goku hoped the darkness of the room obscured most of his face.

    “I was. Where have you been?” Vegeta sounded almost frustrated, surely he didn’t want Goku here as he slept this whole time?

    “Training with Whis. He ended it early ‘cause I was distracted.” Goku laughed nervously, his body was heating up just like his face, and with Vegeta this close he could probably feel that. He was sure he caught Vegeta giving him a quick smirk at that reply, but when he blinked it was gone.

    “Funny, Lord Beerus told me Whis said the same about me.” The Prince propped himself up a few inches to pull the blanket out from under himself, and tossed half of it over Goku. They’d never shared a blanket before, so the larger saiyan had no idea what was going on. “He also told me I should have a chat with you. Did Whis say that as well?”

    “Actually, yeah…” Goku was growing more and more anxious.

    “Well, then I guess we better talk.” Vegeta grumbled, turning back over to face away from Goku, still not moving the other’s arms off of himself. “After we wake up, of course.” Goku sighed in defeat. He had a feeling that Vegeta understood what was going on, and that’s why Vegeta was suddenly being so nonchalant about this. It could also be that he was just tired enough to not pay much attention to his surroundings, but Vegeta has always been mentally sharp.

    “‘Kay, Vegeta. See you in the morning.” Goku’s voice was tight and strained.

    “Goodnight, Kakarot.”

    Goku wasn’t going to be able to sleep.

 

* * *

 

    “So, did your talk with Vegeta go well, my Lord?” Whis asked as the cat ate his meal ferociously, spraying crumbs out of his mouth. “I talked to Goku just before bringing him in here.”

    “Thought so, because he wasn’t eating.” Beerus said through his mouthfuls, chewing loudly. “That guy has an appetite that could rival my own. It was a bit cruel of you to do that, Whis.” The angel laughed an obnoxious laugh, the kind he only did around Beerus.

    “I saw a good opportunity and I just _had_ to take it.” He re-filled the other God’s plate just as he quickly emptied it for the thirtieth time.

    “Well, we’ll see what happens.” Beerus managed to grin even as he continued his food binge, and Whis grinned right back. The two of them really were far too powerful for their own good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! whis and goku's conversation was too short, so you get way more content than originally planned. i finally decided there'll be at least 2 more chapters after this one  
> (also, vegeta showed up to training looking like shit because he stayed up after talking to beerus)
> 
> apologies if the pacing is wack, i have a big problem with my writing going too fast. lmk if u see any grammar issues too!


	4. Sinking Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goku and vegeta finally talk

    Apparently, Vegeta hadn’t meant first thing in the morning. They had both shuffled out of bed without a word, Goku skipping the shower since Whis gave him a magical one the day prior- and also because he wanted to escape Vegeta. This meant Goku was the first one at the breakfast table, stuffing his face two times more than usual to make up for yesterday’s lost meal. Beerus had already eaten, they learned early on that him competing for food with two saiyans was a bad mixture, and Whis had taken the necessary steps to ensure no one died. Goku was keeping a close eye on Vegeta’s ki, sensing it moving closer as he had probably finished getting ready.

    Whis stood silently next to the table, showing great restraint in ignoring the feast he’d made. Those two were going to need a lot of brain food if their talk was to go well, and he knew it was definitely coming as Vegeta stepped into the room and Goku’s energy grew tense. Vegeta’s hair was still damp, making it slightly less rigid than it usually was, and Goku paused in his eating just to stare. Whis had to hold in laughter at the sight. “Nice of you to join us, Vegeta.” Vegeta only grunted as he passed the angel to sit down. “Now that you’re here, I’ll be off. Both of you meet me outside when you’re finished, and we will begin today’s training.”

    Goku’s stomach dropped as Whis gracefully exited the room, leaving him and the Prince alone. Secluded. Not even five feet away from each other. That should be no big deal, they literally _cuddled_ all night, but Goku found himself slowing down and beginning to sweat from nerves regardless. Vegeta shot him a look, making him jump in his seat.

    “Relax, moron. I’m not doing anything until I’ve eaten.” He rolled his eyes, spearing several pancakes on a fork. It was a great thing that Whis and Beerus adored earth food so much, so the saiyans weren’t subjected to whatever weird alien food the Gods kept around the palace. Goku did his best not to stare as Vegeta ate, but suddenly his own appetite was gone again, and the meal looked so tasty. Vegeta’s ki thrumming beside him suddenly felt louder than it ever had been, and whether he was purposely flaring it or Goku was just extra sensitive, Goku couldn’t figure out. He didn’t know how much time passed as he stared at his plate blankly, but when a fork slammed down hard, he reflexively hit his head against the table. The plate broke in half.

    “Ow!” He whined, rubbing his forehead. It wouldn’t bruise, but it hurt. The scolding for smashing the plate would end up being more painful.

    “That’s what you get for zoning out.” Vegeta was glaring at him, and Goku grinned nervously back. “It’s talk time, Kakarot.” Vegeta went to stand up, but Goku shook his head. He held out a hand, and Vegeta only stared down at it.

    “I’m gonna take us to Whis. I’d rather talk outside when we’re done training instead of in our room.” Goku held two fingers to his forehead, and he was genuinely shocked when Vegeta took his hand without protest. He would always slap it away and grab his shoulder or back, so maybe this was a sign of the changing dynamic between them. Whatever it meant, Goku decided not to dwell on it, disappearing from the room as soon as Vegeta’s hand was in his and reappearing outside. Goku looked around for their teacher, brows lowered in confusion, but there was no sign of him… strange. He scratched his head helplessly. “I thought I felt his energy here, but I don’t see him anywhere.”

    “It’s a setup,” Vegeta scowled after doing his own scan of the area, sensing nothing but the same energy Goku did. “Whis was lying about training.” Goku stared at him, their hands still joined.

    “What do you mean? Why would he lie?”

    “I bet he wants us to talk about our _feelings_ first _._ ” Vegeta crossed his arms. “He must have guessed you would teleport to him, and somehow made a fake energy point.”

  
    “Wow, I didn’t know Whis could do that!” Goku circled around the source of energy. “I should ask him to- ah!” He yelped as his arm was tugged roughly. Vegeta had Goku’s hand secured, as neither had let go, so the Prince used this to drag him off through the grass.

“Follow, and keep your mouth shut.” Goku stumbled at first because he wasn’t ready to be manhandled, but eventually fell in beside Vegeta. The smaller man remained quiet.

    “Where are we goin’?” Goku didn’t keep his mouth shut, he was too antsy for that. The sun was just as unbearable as yesterday, and his black hair soaking up all the rays wasn’t helping his body temperature. “Somewhere shady, I hope. The sun on this planet is brutal!” Vegeta wasn’t disgusted by his sweaty palm, right? He could totally feel it, because they were holding hands.

    “Shut up and sit down.” Vegeta gestured to a spot beneath a large tree a distance away, shaded by the thick leaves framing the branches high above them. Goku happily trotted over and sat in the shade, Vegeta mimicking his position but choosing to cross his arms instead of placing them in his lap. He closed his eyes as he leaned against the cool trunk of the tree. “Would you like to start?”

    “I dunno what to say, so…” Goku stared upwards towards the sky, swallowing down what he could only describe as excitement. He didn’t feel as nervous now. “You go first.”

    “Might as well get it over with, then.” Vegeta grumbled, tipping his head upwards. Goku leaned in close, anticipating his words. It took him two minutes to actually say anything, and what he said ended up being nowhere near worth the wait. “I don’t hate you anymore, Kakarot.” Goku was silent, expecting more from him… but he just said nothing. Goku could see his face twitching, so he was obviously awaiting a reply. Goku began to laugh instead. Vegeta shot up instantly, looking at him in fury. “What’s so funny?!”

    “Of _course_ you don’t hate me! It’s not hard to tell!” He laughed, holding his stomach. “If you still felt the same way you did back on Namek, you woulda punched me through the wall for trying to cuddle you.” Vegeta’s face started turning red as Goku wiped away his tears, giggling softly. _He_ was supposed to be the clueless one, not Vegeta!  
    “You’ve been _cuddling me?_ ” His voice cracked in what Goku interpreted as rage, and he cleared his throat. Now it was Goku’s turn to blush, rubbing the back of his neck. His nervousness returned with a vengeance. “Answer me, Kakarot!” Vegeta moved away from the tree and onto his knees, fisting his hand in the fabric of Goku’s gi.

    “Y- Yea! I thought you figured that out, ‘cause you’re the smart one!” He held up his hands defensively, shrinking back from the intensity Vegeta was displaying. Goku looked at him worriedly as he closed his eyes, brows furrowing. He was probably just thinking, but he looked really mad while doing it!

    “Kakarot.”

  
    “Yea, Vegeta?”

    “It’s your turn. Talk.” Vegeta released him and shoved him backwards, staying kneeled in front of him but re-crossing his arms. Goku blinked in surprise.

    “Okay, um…” He tried to think, but he felt Vegeta’s ki flare in impatience. “Hey! Calm down, gimme a second!” He whined, and the energy level lowered, but it was simmering threateningly. Clenching his fists in his gi pants, face red and twisted in reawakened anxiety, Goku leaned back and spoke towards the sky, his voice a strange, fast whisper. “I think you’re really cool, an’ every time I see you I get really nervous! But I also get nervous when I _don’t_ see you, and it’s like a million butterflies are trying to crawl out of me and it feels weird!” His eyes remained clenched closed, not daring to look down at Vegeta’s reaction. His ki didn’t spike, in fact… it almost felt like it lowered a little bit. Goku’s stomach twisted uncomfortably as more and more time passed in total silence. Those butterflies must be flapping away.“”Geta, you better answer or I’m gonna throw up and it’ll probably land on you.”

    “Kakarot, look at me.”

    “I don’t wanna!”

    “I said _look!_ ” Vegeta grabbed his face and forced it to be level with his own, squeezing his flushed cheeks hard. Goku let out pained _ows_ through squished lips, hands grabbing at Vegeta’s wrists.

    “Fine!” He opened his eyes once tears were pricking at the edges of them, and he ended up staring directly into Vegeta’s. Their eyes were both the same color, all saiyan’s eyes were, but Goku managed to find Vegeta’s extremely beautiful. He decided he might as well voice that thought if he was about to die. “You, uh, have really nice eyes.” His voice came out muffled because Vegeta hadn’t stopped squeezing his face.

    “Shut up.” Vegeta sighed with no real malice to the statement. Then, he was moving in closer, and Goku was trying harder to free his face from being crushed.

    “‘Geta!” He yelped just before their lips met. His eyes remained wide, but his jaw was released from Vegeta’s vice grip, the man opting to gently hold his face instead. It’s not like Goku had never done this, he was a formerly married man, but he really wasn’t expecting it. Slowly but surely, he relaxed from the initial shock and kissed back, his hands moving to rest on Vegeta’s sides. His eyes closed too, and for a second the situation reminded him of when they’d fused before, but this time they were fully their own people. He was the one to start pulling Vegeta closer when they inevitably had to part. He searched Vegeta’s face, looking for answers, but found none there. “What was that for?”

    Vegeta grinned at him. “Did you enjoy it?” Goku felt his heart skip several beats. Maybe he was still sleeping, or all this was just a hallucination… but the hands resting on his face sure did feel real. It had to be real, he wouldn’t believe that it was fake. He didn’t _want_ to.

    “I… did. A whole lot.” He laughed, pressing his forehead against Vegeta’s. The redness of their faces had faded to a light pink instead, the shame and embarrassment they previously felt dissipating into the air around them. “Can we do it again?”

 

* * *

 

    Goku stretched both arms upwards, wincing at the resounding crack that followed. His body throbbed and ached, but he almost enjoyed the feeling. Their chat earlier that day had ended abruptly when Whis came to find them for training, not mentioning the fact that he’d walked in on them making out, or his ruse to set them up. He pushed them extra hard, and they were both exhausted. Neither bothered with a shower as they undressed and settled back down in bed, facing each other instead of laying back to back. Goku’s hand moved to rest on Vegeta’s cheek, wiping away some dried blood there.

    “Still think I’m cool?” Vegeta asked, his face the most relaxed Goku had ever seen it, despite the unimaginable aches he was probably feeling as well. Goku nodded, moving his hand back.

    “Don’t let it get to your head, though.” He was shocked as the other actually _chuckled,_ a genuine chuckle, not one born of spite or gloating. “That was cute.”

    “Call me cute again and you won’t be leaving this room alive.”

    “You’re just sayin’ that, you called me handsome earlier. It’s the same thing!”

    “Cute is a word reserved for a woman, Kakarot.”

    “Okay, then you’re hot. Is that better?”

    “Much.”

    Goku wrapped his arm around Vegeta, and Vegeta didn’t protest. They both moved in close, not quite spooning yet, but not quite sleeping like casual friends would. Enough experience told them what this was, it didn’t need to be voiced, not yet. They were content this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 5/29/19: sorry for the final update to be like this! i really tried to think of a concluding chapter, but there wasn't much left to conclude. i added a small bit to this one to make it end more smoothly, this was scrapped writing from the original because it seemed too much like an ending. i guess i shoulda used it!  
> dw tho i'll be updating my other fic, Time to Go, with stories from the same AU, make it a 'drabble' collection. it will be kakavege, too!
> 
> my deepest apologies for any disappointment
> 
> -END EDIT-
> 
>    
> the long awaited conversation finally happened, and we're almost done with the fic  
> i had a lot of trouble with this chapter so it might take a little longer for the final one to come out, this chap definitely doesnt feel like my best work
> 
> apologies if the pacing is wack, i have a big problem with my writing going too fast. lmk if u see any grammar issues too!


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